Don't give up reading, I think my life is interesting. I learnt from my mistake.
*PS* My english suck. So pardon me for vocab and grammer mistake.
Well, Let's start everything from year 2005 ? When I promoted to Secondary 1. It's cool to be the first batch in school. Right?
You might think, you can like own everything like a boss when the junior came in. Lol. Well,
I start to mix the wrong company when I was in Sec 1. Everything changed after I entered secondary school. Defiant. Potent. { LOL! Fav word. ] , stay out late outside. Do alot of stupid stuff.
Getting into trouble and was committed in crime. Getting from bad to worst day by day.
On my Dad's birthday, o8o82oo5. I went home after school with my friends. Sister called, she told
me that alot of police were at my place. Ask me to go back asap.
I was lost at that moment. Never think of escaping or what. So I went back home. Saw XP with about 5 to 7 police. And from there I knew I was been sabo from my friends.
I was been bought back to Amk HQ on that day.
The police was on the phone with my mum while I'm changing. I can heard what my mom said.
My mom please the police. She said, I was still young, don't know how to think.
She pleased the police not to bring me back. I just kept quiet like a dumb and follow them back to the station.
That was the first time I been to the station. After this very first time. I went in back again and again.....
Well, my first case was : Extortion. cum assualting.
Was on bail, and the case been hold.
The case was mentioned in front of the whole school by my principle. From there, my name in school were like zZz. Not being hao lian or. But people in school just so realistic. Hmm.
Was send to attend a Guardian Programm at Hougang area for 6months.
If I can smoothly finish that 6months probation. My case will close.
But within that 6month, if I have any flesh case or school report not good, or miss out any of the programm, they will breach me and charge me in court. Everything seem to be fine.
So everything went smoothly.
Hmmm, though there's alot of badthings coming my way. There is good things too.
I know new friends in school. Everyone will make new friends in school.
I have 2 guy friend, Aaron and Melvin. We were in the same school from Pri1 till Secondary. We 3 were in the same class in Pri 1 (:
If today we were still friends, it will be .. uh? 1o years of friendship? Coool kan?
The new friends were Zhaorong, Sam, Junjie. I met xinyi later on.
So this 5 lil boys were my BBF. It's really the 'True Friend' which people always say.
They never failed to be there for me. We were as close like brothers and sisters.
We shared happiness and sadness together.
We went thru alot of ups and down. Been sabo by friends who wanted to break the bonds between us.
We do quarrelled, fights. Alot alot of things. Even how worst we still overcome it.
..
It's about 3months plus ongoing the probation. I was committed in Theft. But I didn't steal anything. Being a good person ended up been sabo by friends.
Was been brought back to Amk HQ again. Bail again and Keep In View.
My counseller didn't say anything. And everything went so smoothly like normal. After this. Bad things slowwly coming in my way.
Then year 2oo6. I become worst. I hang out late at night, drink,smoke
I take up the habit of glue sniffing. And it ruin my life. Seriously, my life was ruined because of glue sniffing. I tried all sort of thing. I even drug ed too. But, a moment of enjoyment, high etc pay a lifetime of it. Regrets . Slowly, things getting from bad to worst.
- Been handcraft back t Sk npc due to having other people ezlink on me.
- Been breach on the last day of the 6months probation.
- Recieved court letter, remanded to Singapore Girls Home on 21 June 2007 for 1month. But as I was luckily, I can be bail. Mom find ways to raised the money to bail me out for 12k.
- On probation for 1month till the next court date.
- Was sentenced to Grace Haven for 2 years.
When , I told myself. Is end of the world when I heard I was sentenced to Hostel. I thought I will be inside and never can come out like always. I can't bear to be apart from my family. To be apart from the 5 BBF. I told myself, I will changed. And turn over a new leaf. And family given me chance again. I broke my parents' heart again and again, but they never give up on me. So I promise and swear I will never do this and that and blah again. They trust me again. But, I disappointed them again. I took things for granted.
When I was sentenced to GH, I stopped glue sniff for the first few months. Once I get my homeleave, got back to school and study. I went back to my old track. I took every chance given to me for granted. I smoke, glue sniff, defiant in school, break the hostel rules. At first I was luckily I didnt even got caught. Cool? (: Clever.
About 3months plus staying there. I hack care everything. I enjoy staying there. Friends all are there. I even met a butch there and being together with her for 9months plus. The broke up was so heart-breaking. I admit, sometime, I do , still think back the past. Well, it's really heart breaking when you think back.
Hmm, I admired Aubrey when I first saw her. She caught my heart. And, I was wishing and hoping that I really can get together with her.
I hide the crush for her. I never told anyone. I always say that I wont be together with a butch.
I admired her for 2months plus. Till she's told me that she think she had fallen for me.
We didnt get together straight away. She cant forget her ex either. So we gave eachother time.
Within these days, we had alot of problem. Regarding friends who disagree us. And blah. We really went thru a hard time then be together. (': Finally, we were together on th 281oo7, I still rmbr how thinngs goes till you really got my heart.
Everything went so so smoothly. The first few month were so sweet. Till 3month plus onward. We start to quarrels and blah. But, still we are still so deeply in love. People tried to break us up but they failed. Her mother disapprove, the staffs aim us. We sacrified for eachother. Went in lock up. Been confine. We really went thru really a hard time just t be together. When the staff knew about us being together. They seprated me and Aubrey. We were actually staying on the same floor. But they moved me down to second floor. I get to see Aubrey lesser. Have no much time to spent with her too. And they do all sort of thing to just break us up. They gave me homeleave while Aubrey cant. When Aubrey go home. I cant. They don't even want give us that chance to meet outside.
I was been confine for a very long time because I was caught glue sniffing in the classroom. I cant go home. I cant go school. And my birthday coming soon. So requested for special homeleave. My friends there planned everything nicely just to help me to celebrate. Friends all asking what do I want on my birthday? And I regretted saying that " I wanted most is to see Aubrey on that day '' Aubrey didn't want to disappoint me. So, even her mom dont let, call back hostel. She still take the risk and escape away from her mom. And she absconded because of me! The sacrified is so big that might lead her to Girls Home whereby a place that totally no freedom. No way to escape.
So, I ran away from hostel too. I broke my parents' heart again.
I went to find Aubrey then. Stay at one of my friend's house. I still contacting with my parents.
I thought they will give up on me. No. They didnt. They didnt call police catch me. My father. I always think that he don't really care. But, on Fathers' Day, My sister called. Background was my father singing while crying. I broke his heart. He love me. Yet, I broke his heart. At that moment, I really wake up. I really regretted for what I have done. But everything is too late. I ran away for 2months, what makes me and Aubrey broke up, and why I get caught bcoz'
- I start playing maple and get addicted.
- Glue sniff almost everyday.
- I played maple when Aubrey's back from work, till she sleep and stopped playing when Zr is going to school.
- Sleep when Aubrey's out to work and play maple when Aubrey is back.
And in maple, I knew a guy named , Chai. I was bored at home all day.
The gaps between me and Aubrey is getting bigger and bigger.
So, everyday I played maple with Chai. Later on, we exchange no. texting, on phone.
But I was just playing. I betrayed Aubrey. I played that guy.I hurt someone who love me. I hurt someone who's innocent. I disappointed everyone. I lied to Aubrey. I renamed Chai's name to <3>
I was remanded 1month and sentence on o5o8o8 to continue my sentece. 13months in Singapore Girls Home. Soon, She contact back with her ex. And they get back tgt on o8o8o8. What nice date? While I'm suffering inside. Well, I'm the one who cause everything. This is not the full story yet. If I really got to write everything down. I will die -.-
The impact Aubrey left me was huge. I self harm. I cried. Depressed.
I tried to move on but I failed. And late October, Aubrey was caught and been sentence t continue sentence too. We didnt talked for the first 6month when we got to see each other everyday.
I always act as if I have forgotten her. I say I like whoever whoever just to attract attention.But I failed lah. How silly right? (: She told me to move on. And I failed alot of time.
After Aubrey, I still get into rls. I met a butch when I'm working. She look alike Aubrey. So,
I hurt another person again. I thought I can replace Aubrey when tgt with XiaoBai. But Failed tooo.
Till the day I discharge. And Aubrey have another gf alrd. I told myself to move on.
I've made so many mistake. People might think I'm bitch. I very bastard. But, I've learnt from my mistake.
I'm not afraid that my current Boyfriend read this post. I know he will understand. Right ?
I told myself, to be serious with the next relationship. I knew Qingyang, next is Noven.
I made the wrong choice. I choose someone who don't know me then choosing the one who really love me. I was so regret after everything. I feel so bad. I shouldnt had choose to like Noven, because I hurt Qingyang. ): Full of regrets. Qingyang was so sweet and understanding. Yet I made the wrong choice to like Noven. I didnt got together with him. But, I've beeen lead on. I dare not believe in rls after everything. I've been cheated by guys on feeling and physically. So, I told myself. Never believe in guys anymore. Till I met BarrrryLua. I thought we were just maybe killing time by texting and sweet talks. But, no. The feeling grow stronger and stronger.
I do doubt on him at first. But, as days goes by, I realised, that he's serious in this rls. So do I. I myself know he's serious can le.
After Aubrey incident. I had really learn how to treasure someone before you lose it than regret.
I thought I failed so many time that I cant get over Aubrey. But I'm glad. I finally do now.
I met my Barry (: A good boyfriend but sometime do have temper and blahh lah. But I really love him. Aubrey's attached now. And She will always be my besti (: [ Besti , Dont scold me because I wrote everything down .
There's still more things,but I dont think I can continue say le. I'm tired .
The moral of story is, I've learnt my mistake.
To treasure before lose it.
I'm not ashame of sharing. I'm not scared that people will talking behind me. I don't mind if there is still people who dislike me.
I'm not ashame of what I've done, been to Singapore Girls Home.
Because I'm proud that I've made improvement compared to last time.
I don't find troubles, I don't druged. I'm not doing anything that against the law.
I'm proud to be myself now. I'm glad I've a supporting family.
But, What excatly I really want in life is, my family member will be fine. No quarrels no fights. No Sickness ):
What I want know is, Daddy will be alright. My dad have cancer which made me feelt so so so so upset. Thinking back the hurts I brought t him. But, I just everything will be fine. The operation will be real fine. God bless Daddddy!